To warm your Christmas, here’s a humorous post from my archives.
96 degrees. 79% humidity. And a three-year-old boy.
Were we in an air-conditioned car? No. Were we in an air-conditioned building? No. Were we at least in a swimming pool? No. Although, I was almost that wet—with sweat that is.
We were at Grant’s Farm, St Louis. Smack dab in the middle of a crowd on the eastern side of Missouri where the hills and the trees trap you in the folds of misery. Okay, Missouri is a fine state with good people. I just don’t like heat and humidity. And crowds. I do not like crowds.
“You mean, you took a three-year-old in the middle of summer to a…?”
I know. I know. What was I thinking?
I’ve taken some silly adventures before, but nothing this warm and sticky. Love does strange things. It takes a reasonably intelligent and occasionally witty woman who does not like crowds and slaps her down in the middle of hundreds of people. And why? All because she wants to spend time with her grandson.
After waiting our turn in the long line for the tram and after we got off the tram and after we figured out which entertainment we should see first…
I asked a very genteel-looking older lady which way to the elephants. After she finished laughing, she gestured over her right shoulder and said, “Walk that way. You’ll smell ‘em.”
So with that fine set of directions our course was set.
Packed in with hundreds of other people determined to have fun, we watched the pachyderm perform. They called it Elephant Education.
Next we saw several different birds at the Animal Encounters Amphitheater and two creatures I won’t recall. Which is a good thing. That way I won’t spoil it for you.
Along with the rest of the crowd, we were surprised when a few predatory birds swooped overhead before landing near or on the handlers. A beautiful Red Macaw flew gracefully onto stage. Its amazing long red tail trailed behind.
We tried hard to take photos of the birds in flight, but they were too fast. Or we were too slow. I can’t blame it on the three-year-old. He was good as gold.
After lunch we toured the old stables and barn of the Bauernhof. We steered clear of the Candy Shop (I’m not that stupid).
All stickiness aside, Grant’s Farm is a great place. I’d highly recommend you take your family there. Just don’t go when it’s above 80 degrees. Or 50% humidity. Or with a three-year-old.
Well…maybe with the three-year-old. Ain’t he adorable?
I almost forgot. We had to feed the goats before we left. It’s obligatory.
When we’d had our fill of fun, we made our way to the exit tram. My husband, grandson and I shared a pretzel and lemonade while we waited in line.
The lady behind us said, “They won’t let you take food or drink on the tram.”
We weren’t about to get out of line. At least two hundred people crowded in behind us. We gobbled our entire pretzel, drank all of one drink and half of the other.
The tram workers saw our drink cups. They didn’t say anything.
It’s a good thing, too. I still had my ice. I made up my mind to fight anyone who tried to take it away. (I’m kidding! I’m a rule follower.)
The lady shrugged. “Well, they made us get rid of ours last time.” (I think she must have been a rule follower, too.)
Travel Light Tips & Humor
• Grant’s Farm is a great place for families (Really! It is!)
• Visit their website for more information: www.grantsfarm.com
• Free Admission, but parking is $12/car; $30/bus
• Clydesdale Experience Tour behind the scenes, $25/person
schedule in advance via website or phone: 314-843-1700
• Clydesdale horses and stable are on the east side of the parking lot
• Newborn foals delivered at Warm Springs Ranch, Boonville, MO
schedule tour via website: www.warmspringsranch.com
or phone 888-972-5933
• Make sure you get a fresh pretzel. Oh my!
We purchased ours at the Brat Haus & Deli (Bauernhoff).
• If you like heat, go in summer. They’re open every day.
• If you don’t like heat, choose spring or fall weekends.
Things I’d do differently if I went again:
• I’d go in the spring or the fall.
• See the horses earlier. Or better yet, arrange a special tour.
The horses were tired of the heat and people, too.
Most of them had their um…backs turned.
• I’d visit Grant’s cabin. Our entry tram took us past it.
Someday I’d like to see inside it.
You know…when it’s cooler…and the three-year-old is at least seven years old.
His sister will be four then.
• I’d get another pretzel. Or maybe two or three. Or maybe a dozen.
• I’d ignore the lady in line behind us.
Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. What about you? What memories did you make this summer? Were any of them as sticky as mine?
Share your story in the comments below.
Until next time…Travel Light,
© 2016 SuZan Klassen